"Suicide Identification and Prevention"
If You are in a Crisis
If you are feeling desperate then please immediately contact the Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 to reach a counselor. You can also call 911; they will redirect you to a counselor or have other kinds of outreach and prevention for you.
There are also online chat rooms to text with an online counselor. There are also websites like www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org and American Foundation for Suicide Prevention www.afsp.org which likely offer immediate counseling and / or prevention resources.
Every Life matters, your life matters to me and many others who don’t even know you, this is why these resources are available to complete strangers, because we care! We highly value students, minors, adults, military, police, elderly, gay, all members of society, all humans, we are all created in the image of God, we are all brothers and sisters!
God cares for you too; he created you in His image. You are His creation; he created you specifically. Yes He is the creator of the universe and everything in it and yet, He cares about you individually; you are not an afterthought or a burden. He wants you to seek and know Him; if you don’t know Him, then you have been looking in the wrong places; that is your fault. God went through great difficulties to let it be known who he is and how we can know Him. He personally reached out to Adam and Eve, Noah, Moses, all of the prophets, John the Baptist, sent Jesus and sent the Holy Spirit. Jesus taught the Disciples and the Disciples taught what Jesus taught them. You know where to find Him and you know where to look for him. Don’t believe the liars (fake science) who say that you evolved from mold; a pointless, purposeless, accident and insignificant result of mutant cells. You know that these are lies, yet you have not looked for Him in the right places.
If you are NOT in a Crisis
But are instead struggling to understand yourself or others you care about, then this page is for people who want to learn about the complicated aspects of the hidden struggle within: the warning signs, undertones, root causes, hidden secrets, relationships with childhood caregivers, acting out and the healing journey.
As Christians
This is a Christian website; I am a Christian and am the author of this article. All people of different faiths, beliefs, naturists, metaphysics, atheists, secularists, other religions and pagan gods are welcome here to learn about Christian truths. Only a Christian is qualified to teach Christianity. Christianity is not a religion; it is not a branch of God’s Word or a point of view of the Bible. Only those people who believe that the Bible is God’s Word believe in God. The only people who believe that the Bible is complete and accurately describes God’s Word are the Christians; all of the other “religions” believe only in portions of the Bible or in other prophets, other gods and other books. All other religions are not Christianity; they reject God’s Word. Only Christianity believes in God’s Word as is; all other religions re-write God’s Word and add their own books, therefore they reject God. It is very easy to tell who believes in God and who rejects him; look at their Book or books!
This article is a thoughtful perspective from a Christian point of view about suicide. As Christians we often wonder about suicide. Is it murder? Does it break one of the 10 Commandments? What about police and the military? What about self defense? What about inadvertent murder: acts of rage, drunk driving resulting in death, manslaughter? What about attempted suicide and suicide? What about murder-by-cop?
God tells us that we ALL people have sins; all people have many sins and more accrue daily. No one is sinless, only Jesus was sinless. Even Adam, Eve, Abraham, Noah, Moses, David and Solomon had sins; they were not sinless, they were Righteous. Sinless and Righteous are extremely different. Sinless means Jesus only and Righteous means that a person asked God (and later Jesus) for the forgiveness of their sins. When our sins are forgiven then the Theological term for this is Righteous. Many people in the Old Testament were Righteous, even Moses who murdered a Roman who was beating a Hebrew and David who stole Bathsheba and killed her husband Uriah; so clearly Righteous does NOT mean Sinless; it means your sins are forgiven; this is a big difference.
If you attend a “church” and the pastor, father, priest, Monk, Nun, preacher says that he/she is sinless, that he/she is God’s representation on earth, that since God is sinless then his representative on earth must be sinless, then it is an insult to Jesus and it is a false “church” pretending to be a Church of God’s Word.
In the Old Testament the purpose of the Ten Commandments is to show us that we have sins and that these sins need forgiveness. We should strive to try to keep them as best as we can, but eventually as humans with temptation, anger, jealousy, etc. we will occasionally break them. Just like with Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, David, Solomon and many others, when we break them then we admit that we have sins and we are not sinless. In the Old Testament they understood this and they admitted that they have sins and that they need forgiveness. They asked for forgiveness and God granted them forgiveness. To be thankful for the forgiveness, they had many festivals, feasts and yes, even sacrifices.
If you are attending an Old Testament Synagogue or Advent “church” and they say that they keep the 10 Commandments, or they never broke any of the Commandments, or they paid a penalty for actions which might be misinterpreted as compromising the Commandments, or they claim that such actions make them sinless, then it is an insult to God, because God gave the 10 Commandments to show us examples of what sins are, that we can never Not break them.
Those who claim to be sinless are an insult to God and Jesus; only they are sinless. The rest of us are humans who admit that we occasionally stumble and sin and need forgiveness. Even Synagogue leaders, Sanhedrin leaders, Monks, Jesuits, Nuns, the Pope and Priests who strive to be sinless are in fact committing a sin because they are saying, “I don’t need God for forgiveness because I am sinless just like God is, we are equals.”
The irony of those people who claim to be sinless is that they are actually claiming to not need God; God is only needed for forgiveness of the sinners, therefore they don’t need God therefore they unwittingly claim that they are either equal to God (sinless) or don’t need God (have no sins, that need forgiveness).
God tells us, through the Bible, in the Old Testament and in the New Testament, that we have sins and that our sins need to be forgiven before we die. We need to be forgiven to have salvation, to be able to spend eternity in heaven. But here is the problem, we have to be humble and sorrowful and thankful to be able to ask God to forgive our sins; this is not easy to do, our doubts and pride holds us back. God does not force us to choose, we have to do it on our own. God wants us to do this as early as our early teens; he wants us to do this with our adult minds.
Children are already covered by God’s grace; they are covered from birth to young adulthood, so if they die before their early teens then their salvation is automatically granted (they did not have to ask for their forgiveness as a condition of salvation). The same is true for people who are born mentally disabled. Again, since God wants us to understand sins, forgiveness and salvation and then to ask for forgiveness with our young adult minds (or higher) but for kids and adults who are mentally disabled, they have automatic grace; God already accepts them and grants them salvation even without their asking because it is not fair to hold them accountable for adult decisions.
So, if a child or a mentally disabled adult die or are murdered or commit suicide, their sins are automatically forgiven and their salvation is automatically granted by God’s grace.
If a young adult through to an older person, die or are murdered or commit suicide, if they are Christians then their sins are forgiven and their salvation is granted even if they committed suicide. Yes, suicide is murder and it is one of the Ten Commandments. Again as previously explained the 10 Commandments show us that we have sins and that the sins need forgiveness, so if we become Christians and ask for forgiveness then it is granted. All sins are forgiven, past present and future. We become new persons; we changed from the un-forgiven state to a forgiven state. The forgiven state is permanent; we do not ever revert back to the un-forgiven state. Despite many false teachers, once we are in the forgiven state, we cannot revert back to the un-forgiven state; new sins cannot do this to us.
So we covered kids, the mentally disabled and Christians; even if these committed suicide, they are forgiven. The only group left is young adults through to the elderly who were Not Christian when they died. If they died before asking for the forgiveness of their sins, then they are in Hell for eternity. The deal is that you have to ask for the forgiveness of your sins BEFORE you die, while you are living. If you wait until after you die, then you gambled and lost, it is too late. What did you expect, God gave you many chances while you were living and you said, “Later, what’s the hurry. I’ve got plenty of time. I’m not going to die unexpectedly. I’m going to live well into my eighties, just like my grandparents.”
God doesn’t force people to accept him, if they delay accepting Him, then they are really rejecting Him. They know the consequence of rejecting Him; they have no one to blame but themselves. Look at the obituaries and look at the ages on the tombstones at the cemetery; how many died in their eighties? How many didn’t; it’s probably over 40%, but YOU know when you are going to die AND you know you will be in your eighties; delusional! You did it to yourself, you can’t blame God, but you will! You will say, “Why didn’t you warn me 10 minutes before I died! That isn’t fair; I didn’t know I was going to die! By not warning me, you caused me to die in my sins; you are a mean, legalistic tyrant! God will respond, “You knew the rules and you chose to ignore me, you did this to yourself. The elevator is going down so that you can spend eternity with the others just like you.” You will cry out, “But they are NOT like me, I am a good person!” God will respond, “There are lots of good people in heaven and a lot of good people in hell too. You chose to be with the ones like you (the ones who reject me).”
Many false teachers try to say that there is a Purgatory for the dead to go to which prevents them from going to Hell where their bad deeds will be burned off before going to heaven; this is paganism because it contradicts God’s Word and His teachings; it says that all people go to heaven whether they asked for forgiveness or not. Another popular form of paganism is, “Just do more good deeds than you did bad deeds.” Again this contradicts God because it says that there are no sins, just good deeds and bad deeds, people are either good or bad overall.
Many people reading this are getting angry because I just said that non Christians who committed suicide went to Hell. Actually it doesn’t matter if non Christians committed suicide or died of old age or any other reason. The problem with non Christians is that they rejected God’s salvation by refusing to admit that they have sins. Since they refused to believe that they have sins, then they convinced themselves that they do not need to ask for forgiveness. In this sense, God did not put them into Hell; they did it to themselves by rejecting God’s salvation. Therefore unbelievers who committed suicide (or died of old age or died for any other reason) will go to Hell, permanently.
I had the same deal BEFORE I was Christian. I knew that I had sins and that they needed to be forgiven in order to have salvation. If I delayed accepting God for the forgiveness of my sins, then I would be accountable if I ended up in Hell. God did not force me to choose Him; it wouldn’t be a choice if I were forced. God wants us to freely choose him or freely reject Him; either way there is an eternal consequence. What was your choice? If you chose to delay accepting God, then it is a dangerous gamble, do you know when you are going to die? What if you die early or unexpectedly or get a head injury? Then it is too late and you did it to yourself; no action has the same consequence as choosing to reject God. You either believe Him or you reject Him; there isn’t a third choice.
Therefore the same is true with military, police, self defense, manslaughter, doctors who thoughtfully put terminal patients in hospice or disconnect them from respirators, accidental shootings, purposeful shootings, etc. The question is not, “What is your profession?” The question is, “Were you forgiven before you died?” Therefore we see that Christians are blessed by these professions and Christians can proudly serve their families, communities and their countries while proudly enacting the duties of these professions.
Some mockers, atheists, secularists and pagans will be argumentative and accuse, “What about a Christian doctor who does abortions?” My answer is that you missed the points that I made above and thought of a trick question instead. You will not understand my answer to the trick question either. But let’s try, here goes. First of all you will not find a Christian doctor killing babies; you will find your kind killing unborn babies: fellow atheists, mockers, secularists and pagans. Perhaps you may find a Former doctor who used to do abortions back when he hated God; but has since realized his sins and who has asked God for forgiveness of his sins. Surely this doctor no longer does abortions since he now realizes that he would be killing God’s creations without giving them a chance for adoption. These types of doctors would have certainly moved on to instead helping people rather than focus on killing helpless babies.
Some may ask, “What about police, peace officers and military who were good, moral, honest, ethical, family oriented, dedicated to job, family and country; what if they commit suicide, surely good people don’t go to hell!?” My answer is, “If the purpose of God’s Word was, “be a good person, be ethical”, then the Bible would only be one chapter long.” The Bible is NOT about being ethical, the Bible is about sins, forgiveness and salvation; that is why it is 66 Books long; it isn’t easy to explain, but it is thorough.
Getting Started
This article was written on 30-Dec-2016. This article is not the result of anyone who dies thereafter and is only coincidence. The use of the word "you" below is intended for the living reader as a preventative for people reading the article. Do not try to apply its use to people who have already died. There has been a close family member in the distant past who did commit suicide; this person was a minor so I am sure that their salvation was granted. This article is not about that person or their family either; this article is for current people currently living who can read this and make changes in their lives to reverse the course that they are headed on. It doesn't make sense to write articles to dead people; I am writing to living people. In the writing below I try to cover as many cases (family situations) and types of people (grandparents, parents and grandchildren) as possible; some of these descriptions may overlap people in the past by coincidence; I cannot remove all overlaps because they may be applicable to current, living people, who are struggling with suicide, who are reading this article. The writing style below is direct, bold and at times confrontational due to the ironies of people withholding God from themselves and their own families.
Introduction
Suicide is a sad and difficult topic. For the outsiders, suicide often comes as a surprise when it is too late to do anything about it. For the insiders, suicide is a well hidden, inward struggle spanning years with few to no outward signs. When there are outward indicators, then these are often passed off as depression, bad moods or bad attitudes. For the outsiders, it often comes suddenly with no warnings; it is often an unbelievable shock. With all other ailments there is always hope of healing, a cure and more time, but with suicide it is so final with no hope. With cancer, accidents, heart attacks, stroke there is always hope of recovery, life support, convalescence, more time, but with suicide there is no hope for any of these; it is so final, it is shocking.
The Hidden Inward Struggle
For a lot a people, you cannot tell by outward appearances who is struggling and who is not. By looking at people you cannot tell which ones have been raped, molested and threatened by loved ones and by trusted people in authority. You cannot tell who injustice and abuse was inflicted on them. You cannot tell who has been bullied and who has not. You cannot tell who the victims of their own parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, step siblings, step parents, cousins, etc. were. Your teacher looks and acts normal and well adjusted, so does your bus driver and your neighbor and your cousin. What about your best friend or your parents? How about the person in the car behind you, the casino dealer or the nurse at the hospital, the receptionist at the front desk, your secretary, the pilot on your flight, the President of the US, the cashier at the grocery store, your favorite actor or actress, your Pastor, the choir members, the mission group, or the executives at your company?
Just because these people all seem happy, normal and well adjusted on the outside, only they know what is going on in the inside. They may be hiding painful secrets that they are struggling to hide. Terrible things may have happened to them during their childhood years while their trusted guardians were supposed to be protecting them. Sometimes it was even one of these trusted adults who violated them and or abused them; the irony! What if these same things happened to you? The pain and injustice is real and debilitating; it leaves unseen wounds and scars. This category is the most at risk for actually carrying out the suicide, as opposed to the next category of people who have acting out issues. Would you be able to hold it in, hide it, bury it and pretend that nothing happened or would you be the type to act out?
Acting Out
For others it isn't so hidden, it manifests itself in plain sight; you just have to know where to look and what to look for. Do you know people who drink alcohol to excess to hide the thoughts, to dull the pain; what are they running from? Have you seen actors, actresses, stars, singers and comedians hooked on drugs? All of that talent wasted on drugs, their lives spiraling out of control like a common junkie: arrested, a brief rehab, out again and arrested again. Did you ever wonder how this happened, what the root cause is? Did you hear about famous people who are arrested for shoplifting? The irony! They are beyond rich and yet they are stealing $5 common items! Did you hear about the comedian/actor who was arrested for playing with his pee wee at the Herman movie theatre? How about the famous actor and director who divorced his wife to marry her adopted daughter (his step daughter)? How about the famous role-model actor who during decades of a squeaky clean image was repeatedly date-raping women around him? Plenty of women would have willingly consented, but he had to control them and humiliate them. Did you hear about the famous Pastors who cheated on their wives or who paid for gay prostitute’s for years? Do you know about the famous governator who cheated on his famous wife, fathered a child with his maid and kept it a secret for years? How about the President who "did not have sex" with his intern but did with her dress and lied about it under oath, narrowly escaping impeachment?
How about the famous, multi-million dollar athletes (golf, basketball, football) who are caught beating their wife or girlfriend or date raping women around them? How about the famous athlete who was arrested for betting on and partaking in an illegal dog fighting ring? Multi-Million dollar contracts thrown away for a dog-fight that just couldn't wait until later after his career naturally played out. Doesn't even make sense any way you look at it. How about the famous heavy-weight boxer who bit the ears of his opponent, is this an outward sign of his troubled youth of being disowned, abandoned, and forgotten by his addicted parents? What were his parents running from? One generation passes on the abuse that it received. How about the famous football coach in Pennsylvania who was head coach for 40 some odd years; he was the god of Pennsylvania, untouchable, unapproachable, infallible, unquestionable, protected, elevated, devoted to, yet he harbored a coaching staff of child molesters and child-sodomites who committed their crimes right there on campus. Everyone knew about it but everyone kept their mouths shut even the parents of the victims because they couldn't question their pagan god of college football.
For many of those struggling on the inside, they lash out on the outside. Do you know someone who has a violent anger problem toward any figure of authority? They constantly lash out against: teachers, coaches, detention leaders, Principal, parents, strangers, police, the State or Feds? Do you know males who hate all females in authority or females who hate all males in authority? Do you know anyone who cuts themselves to feel the outward pain to hide the inward pain? Do you know anyone who is hopelessly on anti-depressants, who are depressed for "no reason"? Do you know that some people purposely take depressants; how odd, they WANT to be depressed? Think about it, would you go out of your way to make yourself depressed? Doesn't make any sense unless they are running away from something hidden that they cannot deal with; what was their childhood like? Do you know company leaders who are hooked on greed, who demand more and more profit even though there is no more even after price gouging, so they steal from their own hardworking employees, the very ones who generate the actual profit for their company? They treat their employees as mediaeval slaves, indentured servants, yet they falsely see themselves as benevolent kings! What delusion; as self appointed kings they are running away from the things that were inflicted on them during their childhood years!
How about the Hall of Fame baseball player who later became a coach, yet he had a severe gambling problem that caused a conflict of interest when he bet on his own team? Once the bar is lowered, and the door is opened, what will happen next? What if he were offered a bet that his team would lose (instead of winning), but with a handsome payoff? Would he have taken that bet? Did he? What about the Hall of Fame football player who killed his ex wife and her boyfriend? They were already divorced, it is already over, it’s a done deal, move on with life. There are many other women out there, why stalk the one who doesn't want you? Focus on the ones that want you not the one who doesn't want you? Besides if he loved his kids, then why would he kill their mother? Then the kids have a dead mother and a killer father who is in prison; is that showing love or focusing on hate, revenge, manipulation and control? Doesn't make sense any way that you look at it, but it made sense to him! This same superstar went on to commit armed robbery and kidnapping in a ruse to retrieve items that once belonged to him. How about the famous heiress, a trust fund baby, who was so empty, lost, unfulfilled and depressed that she starred in a porn movie to feel important? What? Did I make these stories up? Are they real? Did they really happen? You heard them too and you know them to be true. The question is, “What happened to them behind closed doors when they were growing up?” What are they hiding from, that is buried, and is surfacing in strange and peculiar ways?
Do you know people who are severely careless, reckless, who take unnecessary and ridiculous risks on life and limb without any thought of consequence? Do you see kids in gangs? Poor, impressionable, emotionally empty males who are missing a father figure at home who look up to older males who show them attention. The irony is that the attention that they get is abuse; they are so desperate that even abuse is preferable to loneliness.
What about kids who run away from home? How bad must home be for a child to run away from home? What is going on there when the lights turn off and the kids go to bed and doze off? Who sneaks into the room? What are they doing while their wife waits for them in bed in the other room. Does she suspect what is going on? Does she block it out? Is it too horrible for her to admit, is it easier to drown out her thoughts with alcohol and pills? What about girls who want to be boys and boys who want to be girls?
Did you hear about the famous US gold medal Olympic swimmer in Rio who, after the events were over and the closing ceremonies were next, whose number one way to kill time was to commit vandalism on a bathroom, lie to the police about being robbed, illegally fled back to the US, abandon his very teammates who were hounded by the police, because of his actions, get a lawyer, miss the closing ceremonies in person and watched the closing ceremonies on TV like the rest of us who would have given anything to be there and to see it in person? How about the other gold medal sprinter amputee who aspired to domestic abuse of his girlfriend, then aspired to escalate it to murder? The alibi of a 9 year old, he said, “I awoke to a robber who locked himself in the bathroom, I suddenly pulled my gun and shot through the door; lo and behold, my girlfriend was not in bed next to me, she was in the bathroom!” It took the jury about 10 minutes to deliberate; for 9 minutes and 30 seconds hysterical laughing could be heard through muffled doors and hallways before the jury returned; all of them had visible laughing tears down their cheeks.
I am not saying that only two Olympians among the thousands of athletes grew up in abused and neglectful households. Abuse and non-abuse is a factor in how we turn out. Some children who were abused turn out this way, but others who were abused don’t turn out this way. Likewise children of non-abusers can become suicidal or not.
The stereotype is that children of abusers become suicidal, but the surprise category is those who do not. Likewise the stereotype of the children of non-abusive parents is that they will not become suicidal, whereas the surprise category is those children who become suicidal, even though their parents were not abusers.
The issue is that no matter which of the two categories you are in, the struggle is within, sometimes buried, sometimes overt.
Which subset of people are you in? Be honest! Think about it; look around at your siblings and at your parents. Healing is very important, facing the facts and looking objectively at your actions and attitudes are imperative in healing. If you don’t heal then you are trapped, if you heal then you are freed from the burdens that are bringing you down. Let God into your life, stop blocking Him and running away from Him. When you trust Him, and ask, then he will heal you. You are abundantly important even to the creator of the Universe!
What happened in their homes to make this happen? A drunk, father beating his wife in front of the kids while blaming the kids? A father who is a child molester to his own kids? Perhaps they had parents, guardians, older siblings or trusted family friends who inappropriately bathed with the kids or took them to nudist camps? Was it one parent who takes the kids to the vacation property without the other parent, but with malicious intent? Parents who abuse their own parents in front of the grandchildren? What about a parent or guardian or older sibling who was incarcerated and released back into the home where they have access to the kids when the responsible guardians are away?
What about parents who excessively push their kids to study relentlessly; they have undue expectations for grades, prestigious schools and scores, not for the betterment of the child but in a fantasy competition with other parents of other kids who are naturally gifted or blessed by God. Parents with uncontrollable anger who lash out, like saying to their kids, "You will never amount to anything!", or "You were a mistake!" or "We can get rid of you and no one would ever know!" Or was it Afluenza, where the emotionally void and detached parents solve every problem, issue, involvement by throwing money at it? These parents are incapable of taking responsibility, they lead such self absorbed lives they can’t deal with their own children; they find it a waste of time; the children grow up abused and empty: without parents, with no concept of consequence, responsibility or even self identity.
The kids try to block it out as they grow older, but the scars and damage will not go away, they can't hold it in and ignore it, so they act out in strange and peculiar ways.
Do you know people who are constantly insulting and condescending to God? They constantly swear unnecessarily in every sentence with no context of anger. They constantly say goddamn it, jesuschrist for no apparent reason, the context is happy or sad or neither or both. Did you ever wonder why are they ONLY condescending to Jesus, NEVER to Buddha, Hindi, Joseph Smith (Mormon prophet), William Miller (Jehovah Witness prophet), Mohammed (Allah's prophet), David Miscavige (Scientology prophet)? Just once I would love it if they said "Scientology damn it or JW damn it or Mormon damn it or Allah damn it or Hindi damn it", but it will never happen, because they ONLY curse the one true God, their God. This is a clear and open window into their heart that cannot be disguised. Jesus said (paraphrasing the clean/unclean parable) "What comes out of their mouths shows what is in their hearts." They know who Jesus and God are, the only One and True creator God, yet for some reason they reject God and they are mad and condescending only to Him.
This is not a mystery, this is an open, unobstructed window; the mystery is, "What happened to them in their childhood?" What was perpetrated against them was by human adults; so rather than to blame the humans, they deflect the blame onto God. Why don't they blame the humans, why instead do they blame God? The most likely answer is that their perpetrators lied and said, "God made me do this to you." It is convenient for the perpetrators to shift blame away from themselves onto someone else, they try to absolve themselves from responsibility and consequence of their actions, this is manipulation and sociopath 101 but when it occurs over and over again spanning decades by a trusted adult caregiver then the child eventually blames God, not the adult. Now they go through life in an empty haze of confusion, not blaming their perpetrators, but blaming God.
Now they can't trust God or anyone who professes God; they go through the rest of their lives unable to hear that they were lied to by connivers, manipulators, sociopaths; this emptiness is painful and debilitating and they have to struggle with it every day to fight off the thoughts of ending it all. God is reaching out to them, trying to show them who he really is, trying to comfort them, trying to heal them but these victims can't stop believing the lies that their parents told them, so ironically they lash out against God to stop him from reaching out to them. This is an epic struggle, what will it take, for them to see things clearly and to admit who their perpetrators really are and to realize who God really is? What if these things happened to you? What if your parents were sociopaths who shifted the blame to God? We have sympathy for these victims; we want them to have God's healing. The best thing that we can do is to pray for them so that they let go of the lies and trust the Trusted One.
Did you ever wonder what is at the root of these behaviors? What happened during their childhood years? Is it mental abuse, neglect, abandonment, physical abuse, bullying, threats, condescending, belittling, groping, petting, fondling, molesting, sex, sodomy, rape, yelling and screaming by trusted male family members or male figures of authority while the female family members looked the other way or even participated or protected the perpetrators?
One act of healing is exposing the truth, to report the abuse to the authorities. The other part of healing is not blaming yourself for being in the situation; it is not your fault, it is the perpetrator’s fault; you were just the unwitting victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You are the child in the situation; you are not to be blamed. The third aspect of healing is trusting God. Many people accuse, “Where was God during all of this? He was absent; he doesn’t care!” These accusations are false, God was there. He was there telling the perpetrator to not do it. He was there telling the other family members that something bad is going on. He was there telling you that healing is possible, if you trust Him.
Many people failed you along the way, parents, family members that did not listen to God, but instead chose to listen to the Devil’s voice, “No one will find out.”, “No one will guess what is going on.”, “No one will assume that it was you, they will look for someone else before looking for you.”, “Oh, you are just overreacting, it’s just Uncle Jack’s way of showing attention, its innocent fun and games, he is married after all.”, “You didn’t leave any evidence and there are no marks.”, “The statute of limitations will expire before they figure what is going on.”, “You can get a good lawyer.”, “You were never caught before, this would be your first offense.”, “You can always flee the country.”, “No one will believe that despicable kid over your word and standing in the family and in the community.”, “They didn’t fight back, so that is consent, it was mutual.”
God was there, God was telling the perpetrators to stop, God was warning the other family members to be aware and God was there comforting you with healing. God doesn’t force people to stop what they are doing, God warns people to stop. It is up to the individual to listen to God or to reject God. The people, who do not listen to God, reject God; God does not force people to stop idol and pagan worship; it is a choice. God wants people to choose him willingly. If God forced people to choose Him willingly, then this doesn’t make sense, it is an oxymoron.
People are free to choose paganism, but there is a price, people make other people suffer; God doesn’t make people suffer in this way. God tries to protect people but they have to listen to Him. The Devil tries to hurt people, but people have to listen to him and enact the Devil’s plans. God does good works through humans who listen to Him and the Devil does bad works through humans who listen to him. Either way it is the humans who actually do or carry out the good or bad; the decisive factor is which voice do the humans listen to and act on?
Only in the end does God make people suffer. If people live the life as a pagan and never asked for the forgiveness of their sins then God makes them suffer in Hell for eternity. However if people ask for the forgiveness of their sins, then salvation is granted and when they eventually die, then they go to Heaven.
Victims who become Perpetrators
Not all of the acting out victims can we feel sorrow for, for some of the severe cases of acting out, a whole new dimension of this category can appear. So far we have covered people who are acting out and how their actions only affected themselves (and the women around them). Some of these victims actually become perpetrators who commit the very crimes that occurred to them. These crimes are alike in kind and severity to the crimes that occurred to them; these are commonly known as sociopaths and psychopaths; it seems that they have no guilt or remorse for their victims and they are even detached from their victims as even being human. The irony is that the perpetrators are inhuman, not their victims.
Your Middle school Years
You may be going through a phase of your life where you think that everything is so final and permanent, where nothing will ever change, where you are surrounded by the things that you cannot control; you are completely wrong. Middle school is only a phase of your life; once you get through it then High school is completely different. The things that you thought were so important will have little meaning in High school. You can't choose your parents, you are stuck with them. You would have thought that they would have known what they were getting themselves into when they started having children.
They soon became overwhelmed, it was beyond their capabilities, they didn’t have what it takes to succeed when faced with their poor planning and poor choices let alone if they had made good choices and used good advice and good planning and good luck. They took it out on you and your siblings; they blamed you and your siblings. This is subhuman behavior, you MUST know that it is NOT your fault, you are the child and they are the adults. You MUST not blame yourself, blame the universe, or believe that you are cursed with bad luck; this is all paganism. Realize that you are more mature and wise than they are; this is ironic, you are more of an adult and your parents are the kids.
Your High school Years
In High school you will start to become a young adult, your brain will start to mature and you will be able to see things clearer and will be able to put things in perspective, you will be able to plan for the future. Your coping skills, emotions, communication skills and rational thought will improve and you will be able to depend on these to plan for the future. Your network of friends will be more complex (in a good way) and this will aid your ability to plan for the future. By being able to plan for the future you are determining your path forward, leaving behind the things that are dragging you down. Your High school years are short compared to the rest of your life. Focus on getting through these years so that you can move on to the next phase of your life.
Remember being a student is a valuable time in your life where you do not need to be worried about the complexities and stresses of life that the adults around you, have to worry about. During your student years focus on being a student! Go to class, pay attention, take notes, turn in your homework and study for quizzes and tests. Study for midterms, write papers, read all of the assigned books, take the finals and study for ACT and SAT. Get scholarships! If you are not doing these things then you are trying to be an adult instead; this isn't going to work! You are creating your own nightmare if you are a student who isn't being a student. Your student years are to prepare you for being an adult sometime in the future, the purpose of school is NOT to make you and adult now; be a student now and be an adult later after this important phase of your life.
High school is filled with unnecessary drama, bullying, arrogance, stereotypes, labels, identity and being different like all of the different kids (a group all getting tattoos, a group all shaving their heads, a group all being Goth, etc. Look around, I bet that you can identify about half of your peers are humble and mature, staying focused on what is important: homework, grades, preparing for the future, preparing for the ACT's and SAT's, preparing for scholarships, preparing for the military, building positive friendships, preparing for trade school, etc. Now look at the remaining half.
Losers, idiots, morons, yet somehow they see themselves as the coolest kids and they see the focused and positive kids as the morons. Who is right, you or them? I and you know who is right. The sad irony of these kids is that NONE of the kids are rich in high school. Their PARENTS may be rich, but that doesn't mean that the kids are rich. Do you think rich people are generous with their money? They are the cheapest and most vindictive and spiteful people in society. Do you think that when their kids drop out of high school, they are going to hand over $5000 per month so that their deadbeat kid can drink and smoke 24 hours a day and hang out with their deadbeat buddies while their parents pay for it? These same parents who tip $5 on a $75 restaurant bill because they don't want the waiter to get their share of the $10 or $15 that they earned and deserve?
The drama that you think is so important in your high school years will completely melt away after high school. Within the first few months after high school, you will not even remember what all of the drama was about.
Post High school
After high school you will move on to the next phase of your life: college, trade school, work or military. Look around, you know people who are in the post high school years, ask them how dramatic high school was for them and what it means to them now. I bet that most of them are so glad to be in a phase of life that they can control. All of your middle school years and high school years the undertone is to teach you how to be independent, how to not rely on your parents. Being independent means that you earn money; those who earn money are in control of their lives.
After high school, you should be in college, trade school, working a job or in the military. If you are not doing any of these then you are not earning money, then you are not in control of your life and you are dependent on someone. Those who have no plan will surely get into trouble; there is no way that a person will contently live in their grandma's basement for free and not end up in trouble. Even these people need money to drive grandma's car, for gas and insurance, etc. It doesn't take long before they rob grandma or wreck her car or sell her car (pretend that it was stolen) or get drunk driving then get arrested.
The Happiest Years
The happiest years of my life are after college, when I earned my degree and I got a good job. I earned money and I bought things that I needed and wanted and I lived comfortably. I lived within my means, I had money coming in steadily and I had money going out and I had money left over. I pay off my credit cards each month and did not go into credit card debt. This is independent living. Also, I have health insurance, I am saving for a 401K retirement and I am earning Social Security points. This is the end game, this is the goal, this is the American Dream, this is independent living; this is stable living. No matter what age you are, even if you are in middle school, you should be working toward this goal.
You have to pay your dues along the way; you have to earn it to get here. You are empowered, stay focused. Even when I was in middle school, they started planting the seeds to the future, how to get to independent living, I saw it then and it made sense then just like it makes sense to you now. Stay focused on what you need to do; many small steps along the way. Does anyone climb Mt. Everest in one step? Of course not, they plan for it and it takes many, many steps, each one seems insignificant at the time, but surely over time each one leads to progress, each one is the foundation for the next one, each one is important. Laugh at the morons, laugh at the kids who thought that they were rich, laugh at the arrogant kids, laugh at the kids teasing and tormenting the focused kids. They all think that they will climb the mountain in one step; they will all give up and quit. They will never reach the goal.
Their best years are now in middle school. They will be 40 years old and still stuck in middle school with no plan for the future. You will buy a new car and only pay 4% interest with good credit whereas they will put their used car on their credit card with 29% interest. Over time they will pay $24,000 for a $8,000 car. You will buy a house and eventually pay it off and then retire debt free; they will rent an apartment their entire lives and will have to work their entire lives. You will get raises and promotions during your career, whereas they are stuck in the same nowhere job never advancing in a career that can never advance, earning little more money than when that started decades ago. Laugh now because you know their future, laugh because they think that they have it all figured out, but really they have no clue.
It’s like Track and Field
You have seen sprinters at high school, at college, on TV or at the Olympics. They all line up and the gun goes off and they run as fast as they can for the finish line. You are one of them, with a good start, focused, trained and aimed at the goal. The kids who missed the point about being independent are still at the start line tying their shoes while the race is going on. Even if they figure out to start running, they are hopelessly behind the focused kids. At best they will tie for a school record-breaking dismal last place. When you finish, catch your breath, look back and laugh at the kids who laughed at you.
Depression
There are other indicators leading to suicide. Depression can have obvious origins like those described above, but this is not always the correct origin. Depression can just occur for no explainable reason. Much more research needs to be done on this aspect; there is a lot to learn about depression and its effect.
Post Partum
A third indicator of suicide is when depression is hormonal based. Women, after giving birth, can experience severe depression. This is often attributed to hormonal causes referred to as post partum.
Pharmaceuticals
A fourth indicator for suicide can be pharmaceuticals. Many "cures" for minor ailments can have horrible side effects such as causing suicidal thoughts and actions. All of these drugs are being sued for causing suicidal thoughts and or actions; don’t these side effects overshadow the original problem? Do any of these sound familiar: Chantix, to help you quit smoking, side effect is suicide, well if you are dead, then you can’t smoke; Lyrica for Fibromaliga, may cause suicide; Accutane for acne, may cause suicide and Ritalin for bi-polar, may cause depression?
When the Primary Caregivers Die
A fifth indicator of suicide is where, the setting is, when young kids grow up in a family where the birth parents are not the primary caregivers; perhaps where the grandparents are the primary caregivers. The birth parents are probably separated or divorced. The birth parents are around but they are very busy and are on hectic schedules. Another contributing factor in these kinds of families is if the father was brought up in an abusive family. The father as an adult can have an explosive temper and can be domineering, controlling, verbally abusive and even threatening to the children and to the mother. This can even be the cause of the separation and / or divorce.
The grandparents offer stability, consistency and security where otherwise there would be instability. The child feels safe and secure and happy and satisfied with the situation, because the situation works well because the grandparents offset the instability of the birth parents. Everything is going normally until one day when suddenly one or both of the grandparents die or are hospitalized with a poor prognosis of ever coming back as a caregiver. In these cases, for some children, the child's world can be destroyed. Children in their early teens are especially vulnerable as their bodies are changing, hormones are starting, they may not be ready for maturity, they are transitioning from childhood to young adulthood, questions of identity and roles, peer pressure, self esteem and the fear and anxiety of transitioning to high school are all increasing.
For some of these kids it is too much for them to handle. They don't come out and say it, instead they secretly hide it. All appearances are normal, but on the inside there is chaos. If your kids are in this predicament then you must make it a priority to offer comfort, support, stability and talk with them daily about their feelings. If you hear them say something like, "I don't know what I would do to myself if grandma/pa dies", then they are seriously struggling inside and this is a tiny outside warning that the depression and suicidal thoughts are already starting. Another tiny outside indicator that suicidal thoughts may be happening is if they suddenly change their appearance. They used to be neat and clean and orderly, but now their dress and hygiene suddenly changes poorly. If you see this, the thoughts may already be happening and the struggle inside may be serious, but on the outside it is hidden.
If you and your child are in this situation, you must take is seriously, because the clock is ticking, there isn't time to juggle this amongst the normal hectic priorities of work, career, school, etc. First, stop the hectic priorities. You may be putting your school or work as the number one priority for your family, but these are long term goals. In the mean time what good are long term goals when the child is dead? Your priority now is short term, not long term. Second, spend time with your child, offer stability and security daily, every day, each day, all day.
Third, seriously try counseling. There are professional counselors who have worked through these same issues with other families, they are likely helpful. If you are meeting with a counselor and it seems to be working, stick with it. If it isn't working, try another counselor. If the counselor sees that you are making the child your number one priority, then the meetings will likely be short, painless, positive, supportive and spaced apart. If you aren't making the child your number one priority, then the counselor sessions will be long, painful, negative, unsupportive and often; don't change counselors, the problem is you, not the counselor.
Fourth is God. This isn't last because it is least important, it is the most important, but order matters. You need a proper foundation to let God work in your life. It takes a long time to understand God and to learn about Him and to trust Him. Secularism has been attacking and undermining the teachings of God for years. Secularism attacked your family without you even realizing it. Secularism has its footholds and strongholds in your family already; it will take a long time to undo these false teachings. Start with your neighborhood Church. As long as it is a Christian Church where they teach the entire Bible as the Truth of God's Word, but beware of the false churches that pretend to be "like christianity". Beware of Mormon, Jehovah Witness, Advent, Scientology, Christian Science, Prosperity, Catholic, Messianic, Pentecostal, Amish, Mennonite, Quaker, etc. (these are discussed later).
The false churches can be identified if they tell you to not read the Bible, or if they worship other books and other prophets as God's Word, or reject any part of the Bible: Creation, the Garden of Eden, Sin, Noah and the flood, the Covenant with Abraham, the slavery and the Exodus, the miracles, the prophets, Jesus as the Son of God as the Savior as the Christ as the Messiah, the Crucifixion, the Resurrection, the Ascension, the Disciples, the Septuagint, the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Disciples started the first Churches which spread all the way through history despite persecution by the Dark Ages of Medievalism, Catholicism, the Crusades, the Inquisition, all the way to the Reformation and to the Dead Sea scrolls to today and into the future.
God is the One True God who offers salvation. All the others are false gods of paganism, idols, being 51% good, nature, false books, false prophets; none of these can offer salvation let alone anything else at all.
Spiritual Emptiness
After we have eliminated the above origins for suicidal thoughts, the remaining origin may be spiritual emptiness. God is real, God is not created. Believing in God is not an opinion among many opinions; it is not a social club that you join; it is not a tradition. Rejecting God and not knowing about God has direct and dire consequences. We are created beings and God created us; he wants us to know Him and he wants us to have forgiveness and salvation. God gave us the Bible for us to know Him and His story. All of the stories in it can be verified as authentic: the prophets; the miracles; the witnesses; the people, towns, regions and cities; Jesus, God, the Disciples, the Crucifixion, the Resurrection and the Ascension. Through the Bible, God tells us that we have sins and that these sins need to be forgiven for us to have salvation.
But there is a struggle. There are people out there who do NOT want us to know who God is. They want to mislead us and to trivialize God; this movement is called secularism. Secularists are people who have rejected God, but that is not good enough for them, they put a large effort in trying to get other people to reject God. The best way for them to do this is to trivialize God through skeptical and condescending and offensive lies, misinterpretations, ironies permeated through the media, cleverly disguised in: books, magazines, false researchers, false documentaries, false credentials, movies, theatrical plays, radio, teachers, professors, comedy, cartoons, satires, mocking, etc.
Secularism can easily be identified; you can easily discern who the secularists are. You can tell Secularism by their words. Anyone, through media: writing, movies, speeches, plays, books, articles, radio, TV, etc. who trivializes and mocks the Bible (God's Word), any of its events, any of its stories, prophets or miracles, has just identified themselves to you as a secularist. Other people can be fooled by misleading credentials, impressive status, title, education, position, role, wealth or popularity, but you now have discernment to be able to tell who the secularists are.
Many people who have suicidal thoughts are in this category. Because of the lies of secularism, people who want to know who God is are bullied into believing that God is mean, insignificant, vengeful and unfair. This causes an inward spiritual struggle. The Holy Spirit tells them that God is real and to seek God and the Bible, but secularism tells them lies about God and the Bible so they do not seek the Bible or God's Word. Their lives are secretly invaded by the secularist views through the socially acceptable media outlets. Prime time TV shows, blockbuster movies, big time theatrical plays, music pop stars, Diva's, A-List actors, popular late-night hosts, comedies, numerous satire cartoons and yes, even the church channel type, mega TV Evangelists (who ironically teach false doctrine to the people who cannot discern that they are being lied to). The struggle is real and it is painful and it is debilitating and it is draining. The devil looks at the struggle and jumps in and adds to the lies. On the outside the struggle is a hidden secret, no one knows until one day when it is too late. The only thing left to do is plan the funeral.
Are you in this category? Are you struggling? Do you have a secret plan that will someday shock everyone? Can you last one more year, one more week or one more day? Ironically you trust the secular media for the truth, and the story they tell is lies but you can't see it. You are told that God is insignificant, a lie, a crutch, a choice among equal choices, a philosophy, a contradiction, a paradox, a social club and that the Christians are a bunch of hypocrites. Yet on the other hand people are praying for you. The Holy Spirit is revealing Himself to you and yet you ironically reject these as the works of the Devil. So there you have it, you are in opposite-world where God is the Devil and cool people and cool society are gods. You are in a daily / weekly struggle where God comes to you and you have to kill him because you think that he is the devil.
Every day you kill Jesus because you think that he is the devil. It doesn't get any more ironic than that! This hits close to home, doesn't it? Did I hit the nail on the head, is this you? It is! It makes perfect sense to you in your head, but when you see it in print, it looks and sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? That’s because it is ridiculous, the devil is laughing at you because you trapped yourself in opposite-world. The devil isn't going to let you commit suicide just yet, he wants to keep you around to flaunt you in front of God and boast, "Look what I did!"
Suicide is often mis-taught
From a Biblical perspective suicide is often mis-taught. When I was a youth in Sunday school, they taught that those who commit suicide go to hell (lose their salvation). I think that they knew this was wrong teaching, but they justified it as a preventative measure. Knowing what I know now and looking back, there is never a justification to teach incorrectly; every opportunity must be taken to teach the Bible correctly. The Bible says to not commit suicide. It is a sin like any other. Remember that no sins are larger or smaller than any other sins. We are either forgiven or we are not.
God Wants us to Choose Him Willingly
Biblically, since God wants us to choose him willingly, rationally with a solid understanding of his word, as young adults or older, then we can conclude that children are automatically covered by God's grace, so if they die before they accepted Jesus for the forgiveness of their sins, then they are automatically granted salvation even if they killed themselves. As we grow older and pass from childhood to young adults, then automatic grace fades and God reminds us to accept him for the forgiveness of our sins. Many of us take this opportunity to not delay salvation and forgiveness and we ask for the forgiveness of our sins and repent of our sins. When we do this we are granted salvation and we become Christians. We are in the forgiven state and even though we commit more sins, none of the new sins revert us back to the un-forgiven state. Christians who commit suicide are still forgiven and they still go to heaven.
What about the 10 Commandments?
False teachers and mockers will accuse, "What about the 10 Commandments: Thou shall not kill/murder, and suicide is murder?" The answer is the same; the 10 Commandments do not trump forgiveness and salvation. You do NOT have forgiveness then that forgiveness is later balanced against the 10 Commandments. The 10 Commandments are specific examples of sins and they are also general guidelines of additional sins that are alike-in-kind. Any and all sins need forgiveness specifically and alike in kind. When we have forgiveness then all sins are forgiven: past present and future; the 10 Commandments or any other sins.
Over time, you will share your faith and salvation with family, friends and others. You can tell the mockers because they will say, "You are a liar, you are a Hypocrite, I know for a fact that you broke this commandment here because I was with you when you did it! I hate Christians they are all Hypocrites!" This person just revealed to us that he is a mocker, they purposely reject God and His Word and therefore reject their own salvation and they want you to reject your salvation.
But it is not enough for them to reject salvation and to walk away quietly, instead they tease, torment and mock the believers because they have accepted that they have sins, forgiveness and salvation, whereas the mockers reject God. The mockers want the believers to go to hell with them; the mockers want the believers to become unbelievers. God clearly explains that we have sins and that when we ask for the forgiveness of our sins then we have salvation in heaven with God, Jesus, the prophets, saints, angels and the believers.
So when the mockers bring up the 10 Commandments, then say to them, "Yes, those are my sins and all of them are forgiven too. The 10 Commandments don't mean that you can never break them; instead they mean that when we ask for forgiveness, all sins are forgiven, even these. So what is holding you back from asking for forgiveness?" You can further ask, "Are you confused, were you misled, were you lied to, were you self taught, do you believe that your sins are forgiven EXCEPT for those in the 10 Commandments, that Jesus cannot forgive ALL sins, only some sins?"
False teachers and mockers will accuse the forgiven and make them think that they are not forgiven. The forgiven are under attack by secularism, mockers and the un-forgiven. They are Satan lead and their job is to accuse, confuse and tempt God's people.
Many People Delay Accepting Jesus
The problem is when we delay our own salvation; when we were given the opportunity as young adults whether to accept Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins or to delay it, many people delay accepting Jesus. This is a dangerous game. Do you drive your car with the seatbelt off and disconnect the air bag? Probably not! Do you drive your motorcycle or bicycle with your helmet off? Probably not! If you do then you are playing a dangerous game with your life at stake. The same is with your salvation, are you playing a game with your salvation? Do you know when you are going to die? Of course not! Do you know when you are going to be in an accident? Of course not!
Do you expect God to give you 10 minutes prior notice? Do you expect to ignore God, mock Him, trick and mock the believers, then expect God to warn you 10 minutes before you die? You have been watching too many cartoons and satires; your brain is waterlogged with beer backwash and your lungs are infused with second-hand pot. What verse is that in? Are you self taught or are you taught by the Bible? Yea beer and pot have had no impact on you; you are the same as when you started. Your persona is that of a 13 year old but who lives in a 30 year olds body, yes you are still the same. You try to blame it on your Mom's ex-boyfriend; you two were quite a pair bonding together when he got you high and showed you porn. Ahhh the good old days, now you look for neighborhood boys to bond with, in the mean time you continue to watch satires, cartoons and mock the Bible.
People who delayed their salvation, then die, whether from suicide, murder, disease, age, accident, police duty, military duty, medical reaction, etc.; these people have sins that are un-forgiven; these people will not go to heaven and will not have salvation. These people put themselves into hell because they were playing a game because they were self taught or they were tricked or lied to or were taught by false prophets, false books etc. There is only One True God and he made it well known what sins are and what forgiveness is.
The Elephant in the Room
With Suicide, the elephant in the room isn't that the person died an untimely death and that they had so much more to offer society; the epic question is, "Was he/she a Christian before they died?" This is the forbidden question, it is the question that no one wants asked, because everyone is afraid of the answer.
Secularism says, "Don't send your kids to Church", "Don't poison their minds", "Keep an open mind", "Let them experience all that life has to offer, don't restrict them", "If they want to find out about God, let them find out on their own." These same parents are shocked when their kids commit suicide, they are so sad and they turn their anger to God and shout, "Why did you send my kid to hell, you mean, ungrateful, vindictive, petty, legalistic tyrant!?!"
God will calmly and politely answer them, "You did it to them; I did not do it to them." I told you time and time again that even though you reject me, don't poison your kids, bring them to Church; let them find out who I am." You responded, "No way, I want my kids to decide, without my influence!" I told you, "You hypocrite, by not bringing them to Church you are preventing them from knowing who I am, therefore you ARE negatively influencing them."
If they don't learn who I am, then how can they ask for the forgiveness of their sins and therefore have salvation? The idea is that you bring them to Church and let them learn; if they decide to believe in me, then that is their choice; if they decide to reject me, then that is their choice too. But YOU prevented them from going to Church, so it was YOUR doing that caused them to not have their sins forgiven, therefore YOU sent YOUR own kids to hell, I did NOT, you ironic hypocrite, YOU effected what YOU caused." NOW you are mad at me, NOW you don't want to accept me because this happened, let me tell you, you had already rejected me a long time ago before your kids were even born, but NOW you want to blame me because of your kid.
Your time will come and I will send you where your kid is, in Hell. You can look at him for eternity and try to explain why you did not send him to Church, because you did not want to "influence" him. I am sure he will see through your irony and lies. You can try to explain that just because YOU chose to go to Hell, you also chose for your kid to go to hell too, "Since I rejected God I wanted you here too with me." Your kid may have wanted salvation if he/she was offered the choice. Your kid may have opted for eternity with God and the believers instead of going to Hell with you. But we will never know, because you did not give them a chance. I seriously suspect that your child will hate you vehemently for making this choice for them and for taking their choice of salvation away from them; you two will have eternity to agonize over it. Sounds good in your head, but it looks pretty stupid in print, doesn’t it?
You didn't count on your kid committing suicide, after all your parents did the same to you and you didn't commit suicide. Your parents rejected God and decided "let you make up your own mind" so they kept you out of Sunday school and sure enough you ended up being taught secularism by the media, now you find God to be irrelevant. Now it’s your turn, now you have kids, now you "let them make up their own minds" and you kept your kids out of Sunday school. Now look what happened, you didn't expect this to happen, you didn't even see it coming. Again I repeat, YOU did this to THEM, I did not do this to them.
Don't worry, you will see your parents again and your child will see you soon enough; you will all be reunited. You didn't deserve what your parents did to you and your child didn't deserve what you did to them; hatred and stupidity span generations; one generation can curse another generation. Unwitting victims can turn into purposeful perpetrators. It was by no accident that you withheld God's Word from your children; you purposely did it to effect an outcome. You wanted them to not know who God is. You purposely abused your own kids just like your parents purposely abused you. Rather than break the cycle of abuse, you actively passed it on.
OH the irony! On the outside you want the best for your kids, money is no object for your kids; you gave them the best: education, schools, teachers, coaches, tutors, equipment, presents, gifts, cash, phones, computers, credit cards, cars, clothes, fashion, certified daycare, certified babysitters, etc. However the irony is that you don't want salvation for your kids, instead you want them to go to hell; what liars, what hypocrites, what abuse!
You may be thinking, "Isn't that overreacting, parents don't abuse their kids, that is too radical!" Let me ask you, "Who would reject their own salvation?" Who willingly does NOT want to spend eternity in Heaven but instead WANTS to spend eternity in HELL? Now that is radical! If they are willing to do this to themselves, then is it really too difficult, to believe, that they would willingly abuse their children, in this same way?
Think about a simple analogy that clearly shows malicious intent. Let’s say that your parents have a recipe for apple pie that just the two of them eat and don't share. Every time they follow the ingredients and they make the pie and every time it tastes absolutely horrible. There is obviously something very wrong with one or more of the ingredients. Rather than investigate other apple pie recipes, rather than compare their recipe to other apple pie recipes, they just robotically follow the same recipe each time with the same outcome. They know that something is wrong with their recipe and they know that other recipes are very enjoyable, but they just follow their own recipe.
Then one day their kids grow up and they ask for an apple pie recipe. Guess what the parents do, they maliciously give the horrible recipe to their kids, willingly knowing the outcome. The kids follow the directions and eat the pie and they complain, they ask, "This is horrible, aren't their better recipes out there?" The parents reply, "This IS the BEST recipe, the other recipes are even worse than this one." Now that the kids have been lied to by their parents, they continue the rest of their lives using their parent’s recipe. Eventually the kids pass the recipe onto their own kids and the cycle of abuse continues from one generation to the next generation. To explain the analogy, the "recipe" is "rejecting God"; the parents willingly and maliciously pass the abuse onto their children.
There is no point on dwelling over suicide; it is permanent. The only constructive point about suicide is suicide prevention. The only way to prevent suicide is to break the cycle of abuse. To break the curse from one generation to the next is to really give your children the choice; do not take the choice away from them. You are free to accept or reject God, that is your choice, let your choice have its outcome for you. Break the cycle of abuse by bringing your kids to Church even though you reject God. Let your kids find out from Sunday school who God is; let them decide if they want salvation or if they want to live with you in Hell. Don't be surprised if they leave you behind in Hell and choose salvation instead. Of course you suspected they would choose salvation over Hell; that is why you took the choice away from them in the first place.
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